It's now the start of the fourth Quarter of 2013. Time really flies. People who know me, know that I'm such a futurist. Always putting myself ahead of the present, always thinking of what could and might happen next. As good as it is to plan for the future, I realised that my doing so was actually rooted in fear and impatience. Fear because it became my defence mechanism to dodge pain and disappointments. Impatience because I want the promise not the process.
I remember at the start of this year, my prayer was for His presence to go before me. I've always pushed what I wanted from Him to Him. It became the gauge of how He loved me or how I was as a Christian. I learned that I have to constantly go back to the foundations. I have to constantly go back to my First Love. I have to constantly go back to what the gospel is - which is the love of my life dying that I may live - live everyday with Him.
As I look back at this year, there have been endings but great beginnings. There have been pain, but the ever presence of joy. There have been failings but a lasting confidence in Him. And through it all there have been love.
The last quarter can be intimidating, I feel like I haven't accomplished much and how this year will end. Yet, I'm learning to live by the moment. To gratefully live one day at at time. To open my eyes to the littlest blessings and the littlest ways I can be a blessing. To learn to trust Him completely and surrender my fear and impatience. Because no matter what happens in the process, His presence is with me and with that I know I will finish this year strong!