Leaving & Living A Legacy

Every time I'm faced with a parenting hump, I stop and re-evaluate the way I do things. It's so easy for me to criticize myself and say that I'm not doing my best, I should do more of this, I should do less of that, etc. Realistically speaking, I am limited in a lot of ways, that's a fact. I can't do everything. I won't be able to do everything perfectly. I will always lack something. I will always forget something. 

I remember what one of my best friends, Mic Filart, told me about Legacy Living & Leaving. Mic and I have been friends for years and she's one of the few friends I really look up to. We share a lot of things in common, and one of them is our dedication to our children. (Aside from sharing the same name, she also has 2 boys and a little girl.) Let me share with you (with her permission, of course!) a part of her letter to me, when she and her husband, Paul, dedicated their daughter to the Lord. Here's what she wrote:

Me & Mic

(Possibly my favorite) author Deena Wilson writes, “Legacy leaving and living goes on all the time, from our first until our final day, from dawn to sunset. Legacy living runs continuously: sometimes slowly,sometimes alarmingly fast”.

Legacy living doesn’t begin at some magic hour, or at a later season in life, when people hit 40 (not too far away for us) or 60, or when the children are off to college (Paolo in just 4 months!), or when they get married. It starts now. Today.

Life is always happening today. A lot of times, instead of being present – in the here and now, we’re always in pursuit. Mad with worry about tomorrow’s expenses, or yesterday’s bills. Putting things off until after we find a bigger house, or when we make more money. Being available, spending the time, having the talk, reading the bible and DOING what it says LATER – when we feel like it, when circumstances are more perfect, instead of NOW – when we should. Sadly then we miss out on today’s gifts, today’s teachable moment, today’s purposes and divine possibilities. 

How much precious time have I already wasted? What kind of a legacy am I leaving…and living?

It humbles me to think that in a sense my children will always carry me close to their hearts. What perhaps they don’t yet fully understand they are absorbing day by ordinary day: the many (many!) colors of my person and passions, my hopes, dreams, and deepest beliefs. Yes, even the convictions of my heart…where my treasure lies…the reasons for my faith in God. They watch closely how I live. They’re taking in all the good, but also all the bad…and the ugly. When I lose it, when I’m unkind, each and every time I fall short. Do they ever hear the words “forgive me”? Do I let them know that I am a sinner and in desperate need of a Savior…as are they? Do they see me pursuing Jesus with all my heart and soul? My one desire is that in EVERYTHING, I point my children to Christ. To the Cross. To His grace that is sufficient and new each day…every day. And as Paul and I live “pointing and teaching” our sons and daughter, we are actually also “pointing and teaching” their sons and daughters. What a responsibility!

I was really touched upon reading this letter. I totally agree with her. It's not about being the perfect parent, what's important is to point my kids to Jesus. I worry so much about other things (which are deemed important, too) but I oftentimes miss the most important duty of all...leading my children to Christ. 

This was part of my response to her: 

Now that I'm a single mom, I always question myself...am I doing the right thing for my kids? Am I saying the right words to them? Am i living a life that will be a good example for them? I'm scared most of the time because I know that I'm really all they have. They look at my actions, they listen to my words... that's how they learn things. And most of the time, I feel that I haven't taught them enough or I haven't said enough and that's why I always pray that God will be my partner in rearing my children. I know that as long as I lead them to God, they'll be ok.

I read an article in the Lifestyle Section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer today about Helicopter Mothers. (You can read the whole article here). The author wrote about how her mom was constantly hovering over her, doing things for her, being too over protective all of her life (these are things that sometimes...ok, most of the time I'm guilty of). And towards the end of her essay, she pointed out something that struck me: 

"That was the recurring theme of our life: she did not want to let go." 

I realized that I don't want that to be the legacy that I will leave my children with -- My mom did not want to let go. I want that when my children think of me, they will say "She taught me how to go to Christ." 

Here's the short but very meaningful prayer that they shared during the dedication:

God, teach me lessons for living 
so I can stay the course. 
Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—my whole life one long, obedient response. (Psalm 119:33-34 MSG).

That's the legacy I want to live and leave: My whole life one long, obedient response. 

Dressing Up Regatta Style

We love fashion.  Fashion is an industry that constantly evolves and we always want to be up to date with our style.  As much as being trendy is fun.  We always go back to basic, classical looks that are relevant to any season especially for our lifestyle.

Regatta is one of the brands that's been in the country since we were kids.  The colors always peeked our interest.  We've always liked their classic basics and accessories.  The brand has always given out a sophisticated, preppy feel in a very comfortable way.  Their pieces are something you can just pull out of your closet and wear often.  

We really like the collection of Regatta this season and we got to have the opportunity to play dress up in one of their stores.  Our friend, Carlo Rufino, the brand director of Regatta, took the time to style us with their latest pieces.  We invited our friend, Earl to take part of this fun activity.  It was an interesting afternoon filled with laughter, bloopers and various facial expressions (animals included).  Whew! We never knew being a "model" could be so tiring!

Colored Pants with Classic Polo

Classic Styles in Pale and Pastel Colors

"Candid Shot"

Casual Yet Stylish

Dress Shirt with Cute Colors

Ready for a Trip to the Lake

Comfy Enough to Lift Rox

With Carlo

Our Outfits Compliment Each Other!

Scarf/ Tie

Belt

Shirts So Versatile Girls Can Wear Too!

Semi-Formal/ Cocktail Outfit

Scarf Adds Color

A Blazer and A Scarf Adds Color

New Collection of Dresses 

Beautiful Printed Tops!

For the Guys!

A Bag Perfect for Getaways!

Nice Colors!

Fooling Around

Jumpshot!

Thank you so much Carlo, Earl and Ava (our stylist/photographer/facial expression coach) for helping us come up with this article.  Thank you to Regatta for allowing us to showcase your chic and preppy clothes.

Regatta is located in Glorietta, Alabang Town Center, SM Mall of Asia, Trinoma, Robinson's Ermita, SM Southmall, SM City North, Eastwood and Gateway Mall.  Visit their site for more information.

The Curse of the Proverbs 31 Woman

I have been constantly asking my friend, Lynn, to contribute to My Doolally because I really admire her devotion to God, heart to serve and the insights she has on life.  She continuously inspires me to live a life of excellence and purpose.

She surprised me the other day by tagging me to an article she wrote on her blog.  It was such a fun read.  It really broke the stereotype of how a woman should be and the pressure it entails.

Lynn, director of Real Life 

Small Group of Lynn

Here is a repost of the article The Curse of the Proverbs 31 Woman:

When my friend, Rox, asked me to contribute a blog to her women’s blogsite, My Doolally, the first thought that popped into my head was, “The Curse of the Proverbs 31 Woman.”My second thought was…this is probably not what Rox had in mind…

I’m not entirely sure what a “typical female” is, but I am quite sure that I am not her.

Truth be told, I have always secretly resented the Proverbs 31 woman. To me, she has always seemed  like some mythological creature; a freakish hybrid of Martha Stewart and Mother Theresa that no woman can measure up to.

Firstly, she “gets up while it is still dark.” I briefly considered the possibility that she lived in my hometown of Edmonton, Canada — where in the depths of winter it is still dark at 9am — but decided this is unlikely. So I already don’t measure up (unless you count “my brief and amazing life as a morning person“).

Secondly, she “makes coverings for her bed” and “linen garments.” Seriously! Who makes their own bedspreads…?!?!! The last item I sewed was a somewhat sad-looking skirt I made in Grade 8 Home Economics.

Not only that, she also “buys a field and plants a vineyard.” An entire vineyard? Okay, now she’s just showing off…(which reminds me of a Martha Stewart Living tv show I once saw where Martha was showing how to make Christmas tree decorations using gold leaf. Now tell me, who has gold leaf lying around to use on tree decorations???)

My sister, knowing how much I love dogs, once asked me why I don’t have a dog. My reply? “I can’t even keep a houseplant alive…I even killed a cactus!” (apparently, if you don’t water a cactus for three weeks, it will die..)

It goes on to say that “when it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.” Having grown up in the snowy climes of Canada, I can only take this to mean that she needn’t worry if one of her children were to wander off in a snowstorm, since its bright red snowsuit (which she no doubt knitted in her spare time) would be easy to spot against the white snowdrifts.

But the last straw is when it says that she watches over the affairs of her household and “does not eat the bread of idleness.” In 21st century speak… the woman doesn’t waste her time updating her status on facebook, tweeting what she ate for lunch on twitter, or playing solitaire on her laptop.

Apparently she just makes bedspreads for fun.

Having thus determined that I will never measure up to the Proverbs 31 woman (and then repenting for having secretly resented her), I have settled instead on aiming to emulate the (more attainable) 1 Peter 3:4 woman, who focuses on “the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”

For at the end of the day, it is He in whom my confidence rests and He alone that I seek to glorify in my life.

(p.s. Sorry Rox! I’ll try again…)

I totally agree with Lynn.  As the Bible tells us that man looks at the outward but God looks at the heart and the woman who fears God is to be praised.  

Thank You Great Men!

I have to admit, my friends and I are used to bashing men. "Men are pigs!", "I hate men!", "Men never learn!", "Men are so insensitive!", "Men are so selfish!" We hear these statements a lot, we even say these words ourselves.  On one end, who can blame us? Pretty much all of us girls have at one point or another felt hurt, led-on, used, and rejected by our more primitive counterpart. (Haha! I'm doing it now!)

Despite the presence of jerks around us, and there are some really big jerks (Believe us, stay away from them!), we've found a lot of great men too, and it's unfair to lump them all in one category. Yet, when I thought about this, I wondered, "What is a great man?"

A man who loves God and loves others. This is really where it starts. A man who loves God and loves others is too busy to be selfish. Too many times, and I am guilty of this, our appreciation of men starts out with how they look, in other words, their face, their body, their clothes, their accessories, their toys, and their status. None of these things are bad, who doesn't like good looking guys? The problem is when this is what we find most attractive, because this means that we'll be inclined to be attracted to guys who are spending a lot of time on their face, their body, their clothes, their accessories, their toys, and their status.

What's so bad about that?

It's all about them. When men are all about themselves, when men are selfish, they will be terrible friends, boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and fathers. They'll be terrible people. Selfish people inevitably suck out the life from others. If you know guys who are good looking, stylish, and materially blessed, great! But don't ever ever judge a book by its cover.

No wonder there are so many broken girls with broken hearts. We fell for a beautiful shell. We gave our love to someone who is too empty inside to truly love us back.

Also remember that the order is important. A man who loves God FIRST then others. A man who loves God first will have convictions, and if he fails, he'll run back to those convictions. A man who loves others first will try to please others at any cost. A man pleaser is not a sign of a great man. In fact, be careful of smooth operators. These are guys who invest so much in looking good outwardly but haven't really worked on growing internally.

Encourage your guy friends to learn, to grow their minds, their hearts, and their souls, not just their physiques and bank accounts. It's much more meaningful to be with men with depth, who truly love God enough to seek Him, who are humble enough to repent when wrong, and who genuinely care for your well-being, not your attraction.

As I thought about this further, I realized I actually have a dad, a brother and guy friends who are wonderful. These are men who don't belong in the "guy" stereotype. They have actually shown genuine care for my well-being. I can't help but appreciate them more now, and I'm grateful to God for the men in our lives who have led us to fight negative emotions such as unforgiveness, rejection, and grumbling, who remind us to go to God, who encourage us to work harder, to be more disciplined, to not allow ourselves to be limited, and who have really been instrumental in helping us become better versions of ourselves.

Some of my Favorite Guys

On behalf of us women, I'd like to take this time to appreciate the great men in our lives.

Thank you for the friendship you offer and bearing with our inconsistencies, fickleness and brain farts.

Thank you for lightening up the mood with the remarks you make and the jokes you share.

Thank you for the little things you do that we often take for granted like opening the door for us, letting us get food first, offering your seat to us and picking us up and bringing us home.

Thank you for allowing us to turn to you for prayer and advise.

Thank you for supporting our girly endeavours like our need to have dessert, joining us for chick flicks, waiting for us while we shop and listening to our dreams as well as our drama.

Thank you for exercising our mind by the insights you share. Sorry for all the yawning!

Thank you for leading us by being a great example on how you carry out your businesses, your work, how you treat your family and your devotion to God.

Thank you for treating us with respect by acknowledging the importance of our role as women.

Thank you for bringing out the best version of ourselves by leading us to live a life of purpose.

Thank you for your courage in doing the right thing and admitting your short-comings.

Thank you for setting a standard to the men we want to spend our lives with.

Thank you for giving us hope that our sons and grandsons have men to look up to.

On My Birthday, I Want to Thank You, Jesus

Dear Jesus,

It's been another year. I feel like I've grown up so much the past few years. So much has changed in my life, so many realizations, so many lessons learned, so many challenges faced, and so many miracles. Thank you for another full year of Your blessings. I can't help but feel excited for the coming years. Every year with You had been wonderful. Thank You, Jesus, for loving me so much, for relentlessly pursuing me, and for constantly romancing me.

I'm so excited, because even as I turn 33 today, I feel like my life has only just begun.

Last weekend, one of my best friends, Ava, treated me to a vacation in the amazing Shangri-la Boracacy resort. The weather was quite fickle, sometimes sunny, sometimes raining hard, and mostly cloudy. Yet despite the changing weather, I could really feel You with me as a constant companion. The whole time, Ava and I were talking about You, which, as You know, is really very different from what we used to talk about. We kept talking about how You're in control, of the weather, of the future, of our lives. We even talked about how we became friends, and how we're both seeking You now, of how it never rained on us once because we were always comfortably indoors when the rain would fall, and how the timing of events in our lives has been so amazing. Jesus, thank You for reminding me that You're in complete control.

Remember our moment, when I went to the beach by myself? I walked to the shore alone because I wanted to swim in the  waves which were HUGE! I couldn't even sit down on the beach without feeling like I was inside a washing machine. Yet even then, in that moment, I really felt Your assurance that You will be with me throughout. As I looked down, I saw two small fish swimming in the middle of one of the big waves. They were swimming as if they were in calm waters. They didn't look panicked. They didn't look like they were in a hurry. You reminded me, through these simple fish, that even in the biggest of waves, I can walk (or swim) in peace. I can be still because You are with me.

Safely away from the waves.

Thank you for that break. Thank you for truly re-creating me. Help me not forget our moments in the beach. You know how forgetful I can be. Help me remember my roses even in winter.

I also want to thank You for last night. My amazing kids surprised me with birthday cards that they made. Thank You for my beautiful kids. Thank You for giving me the privilege of raising them. Thank You for the joy of loving them. Thank You for even bringing people to my life who have helped me point them to You. They were so cute. They wrote very specific birthday wishes and prayed for me. I know that it was Your way of reminding me that they really listen, and that they really care. You really know me well. You know I love these handmade, handwritten, and handpicked gifts from loved ones. If I ever grumble again, please bring the memory of last night to mind right away. Help me highlight Your goodness.

Jesus, you know what I've been through. You know everything about me. It's quite embarrassing to know that You know everything about me. But yet, it's incredible to know that despite knowing my dark moments, each year, You have shown me more love.

When I was thinking of what I wanted to ask You for my birthday, (I guess I'm still a little girl that way), the one thing that kept entering my mind was the word: Freedom. I really want to be free. I want to be free from my past, from my fears, from negative emotions, and from my own sins. As I thought about it, I started getting discouraged, because in my limited knowledge I couldn't see it happening. Then I remembered what a friend told me, that You gave Your life for me on Your 33rd birthday, so that I can walk in salvation and grace. Just like this part in one of my favorite songs this season, "Lay Down My Life For You" by Sidewalk Prophets, said:

This is love

That had to bleed

To bring you mercy

To set you free

You are mine

I am yours

And I will wear your burdens

Just like this crown of thorns

I will take your place

I know there is no other way

I lay down my life for you

This is the moment 

When all will be made new

I know that you don't understand

But this is part of a greater plan

So I lay down my life for you.

Jesus, You laid down Your life for me because You want me to be free. And that is the most memorable birthday gift of all. Thank You for constantly reminding me that I am Yours. Thank You for the gift of forgiveness. Thank You that You make all things brand new. I am free already because You love me. True Freedom is being with the One who loves me most: You. So please continue to help me as I continue to lay my life down.

Thank You for my 3 most precious blessings: Lucas the Wise, Andres the Brave, and Natalia the Beautiful. Thank You for entrusting them to me. Thank You that because of them, my life is more meaningful and more purposeful. It's such an amazing blessing to wake up to the smiles of these 3 little angels.

Thank You for the unending love and support from my family. They are living reminders of Your love and Your goodness. Thank You especially for my parents. Thank You for my protective and hardworking father and thank You for my fun and thoughtful mom.

Thank You for all my wonderful friends. I've never appreciated good friends as I do today. Thank You for people to pray with and share life with. I'm so blessed to be walking this journey with them. Please bless my friends for never ceasing to encourage me, never failing to inspire me, and always pushing me to be the best version of myself. Father, please be kind to them for their kindness to me.

I also want to thank You for my work. Thank You for the talent that You've given me. Thank You for even bringing it out and not letting me settle. Thank You for the opportunity to live out my passion, to be able to make moments special for others. Thank You for using me to bring joy to other people's celebrations.

Thank You also for My Doolally. Please bless our work. Please be with us as we share our lives with other girls. Please use us to help other girls enjoy the love, the peace, and the security we enjoy in You.

                                                                               
Thank You Jesus for a full life. I now look forward to the future, because I know You are faithful. Thank You!


                                                                                  I Love You,

                                                                                      Michelle

How to Cook Egg: Let Me Count the Ways

Eggs are yummy, inexpensive, and incredibly versatile. This simple guide is for all you egg-lovers.  Click to enlarge image.  Watch out for more My Doolally infographics.

What Fills You Up?

Each day we need to make a conscious decision to make our lives meaningful. We need to fill our minds and hearts with things that add value and purpose to who we are. When we become complacent or irresponsible we either miss out on the opportunity to become a better version of ourselves or corrupt who we are.

I like to see our hearts and our minds as cups that need to be filled up. It is evident that we all have longings and when we fill it with temporary, fleeting things we ruin our appetite for something lovely and lasting. Longings take on different forms.

If we long to be in a romantic relationship. We settle for a one night stand or we allow ourselves to tolerate abuse. We may also allow our thoughts to live in a fantasy world of fictional characters through books, television shows or movies. As a result, we distort what love really is and set low standards or false expectations.

If we long for acceptance. We tend to foolishly please people by putting up a false front. We try to idolize people and carelessly spend our time, money and resources just to gain their approval. As a result, we doubt ourselves and people and let our insecurities grow within us.

If we long for fulfillment. We try to advance to the top no matter what it takes. Even at the cost of people around us. We neglect integrity, misuse loyalty and promote self-centeredness.

If we long for joy. We fill our lives with material possessions and new experiences we become dependent to.

I don't know how many times I've compromised just to appease my heart's longings. But living in regret for these mistakes won't do any good. I choose to use it to make me wiser.

How do we fill our hearts and minds with that which satisfies? We go back to the word of God.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10 NIV)

Image from walkworthy.org

It starts with a simple prayer, maybe as soft as a whisper to ask the lover of our soul to overcome our hearts.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

It is also a matter of programming and reprogramming our minds by submitting it to God and obeying what He says.

In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. (2 Timothy 2:20-21)

Always remember that you were made for noble purposes. Fill your inner being with that which truly satisfies, when you do, the enticement of things that offer shallow, fleeting pleasures will lose its power to steal, kill and destroy that which you are destined to be and have. When you are filled with the right things you will be able to fulfill the great purpose of your life. And this is what truly fills you to overflow.

I am in the wine business, and one thing you never do is drink good wine in plastic cups. There are special glasses for special purposes. We women are infinitely more special than wine. Why will ourselves with cheap thrills? Why allow people who don't value us to fill us with emotions, with flattery, and with ideas that are not only worthless to us, they are destructive? 

Instead we need to go to God every day and get our fill, knowing that as we are patient to wait on Him, we will find satisfaction in Him.

Lord, I pray that I will be satisfied in You. Create in me a new heart and fill me afresh with all that You are. Teach me to take captive every thought to make it obedient to You.

Image from Pinterest