I've always wanted to do many things in my life. There are so many things I want to learn and be better at. Growing up, I've always been blessed with opportunities to develop my skills. I would start out excited, envisioning myself to be the next greatest tennis player, or have an artwork that would sell for millions, or owning my own multi-national company. But as I start training, practicing, studying I get bored, I get impatient and those wonderful pictures my mind conjured becomes a blur. Somewhat like an unattainable fantasy. So I go back just living within my comforts.
For many years, I've lived in such a way where I'll do what's needed to get by the level (so to speak) where I'm at. Stepping out of my comfortable bubble isn't for me. Imagine all the movies, travels, dinners, fun activities I'd miss just to hit some yellow ball over and over again, or get my hands all messy with paint, or read some boring book teaching me how to count.
But there came a point in my life when I realized that getting the gratification I wanted in an instant isn't making me live a purposeful life. Yes, I've had fun experiences but it didn't bring a lasting value in my life. It reached a point where I was just too tired from being comfortable.
I'm so thankful that God didn't give up on me and in His sovereignty He not only worked on my mind and heart but also gave me new opportunities to enable me to start living for the purposes He set for me. I recall a friend praying that God was giving me new soil for old seeds. It was about having a new perspective in living. When you think about it, we often go through similar things in life, it's really about how we view it and act upon it. What helped me see things differently is determining the things I valued. I remember Michelle and I, together with some other friends sat down to list and share the things we valued. This really transformed our outlook and since then served as a guide to the decisions we make.
Now, God has really entrusted so many things to me. I have responsibilities at home, I help manage two businesses, I'm the co-blogger of My Doolally, I'm part of Bible studies, I've been working on my painting, I take care of my pugs and I've been training in tennis. It's really exciting and I'm really expectant! However, there are days when I have to make a conscious decision to commit to my purposes. There is a cost to my comfort. I have to step up even if I feel timid or shy, I have to start my day early even if it feels so good to stay in bed, I have to increase my knowledge by reading instead of catching the latest movie, I have to attend meetings instead of meeting up with friends. A lot of days, I would whine, I would complain, I would want to escape. Maybe because these aren't decisions that the old me would have made and delaying gratification is something new to me. Yet, I wouldn't trade where I am now for anything because I feel God's approval and pleasure like I've never before. It is such a privilege and a joy to be living out what God has planned for my life.
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