I remember what one of my best friends, Mic Filart, told me about Legacy Living & Leaving. Mic and I have been friends for years and she's one of the few friends I really look up to. We share a lot of things in common, and one of them is our dedication to our children. (Aside from sharing the same name, she also has 2 boys and a little girl.) Let me share with you (with her permission, of course!) a part of her letter to me, when she and her husband, Paul, dedicated their daughter to the Lord. Here's what she wrote:
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| Me & Mic |
(Possibly my favorite) author Deena Wilson writes, “Legacy leaving and living goes on all the time, from our first until our final day, from dawn to sunset. Legacy living runs continuously: sometimes slowly,sometimes alarmingly fast”.
Legacy living doesn’t begin at some magic hour, or at a later season in life, when people hit 40 (not too far away for us) or 60, or when the children are off to college (Paolo in just 4 months!), or when they get married. It starts now. Today.
Life is always happening today. A lot of times, instead of being present – in the here and now, we’re always in pursuit. Mad with worry about tomorrow’s expenses, or yesterday’s bills. Putting things off until after we find a bigger house, or when we make more money. Being available, spending the time, having the talk, reading the bible and DOING what it says LATER – when we feel like it, when circumstances are more perfect, instead of NOW – when we should. Sadly then we miss out on today’s gifts, today’s teachable moment, today’s purposes and divine possibilities.
How much precious time have I already wasted? What kind of a legacy am I leaving…and living?
It humbles me to think that in a sense my children will always carry me close to their hearts. What perhaps they don’t yet fully understand they are absorbing day by ordinary day: the many (many!) colors of my person and passions, my hopes, dreams, and deepest beliefs. Yes, even the convictions of my heart…where my treasure lies…the reasons for my faith in God. They watch closely how I live. They’re taking in all the good, but also all the bad…and the ugly. When I lose it, when I’m unkind, each and every time I fall short. Do they ever hear the words “forgive me”? Do I let them know that I am a sinner and in desperate need of a Savior…as are they? Do they see me pursuing Jesus with all my heart and soul? My one desire is that in EVERYTHING, I point my children to Christ. To the Cross. To His grace that is sufficient and new each day…every day. And as Paul and I live “pointing and teaching” our sons and daughter, we are actually also “pointing and teaching” their sons and daughters. What a responsibility!
I was really touched upon reading this letter. I totally agree with her. It's not about being the perfect parent, what's important is to point my kids to Jesus. I worry so much about other things (which are deemed important, too) but I oftentimes miss the most important duty of all...leading my children to Christ.
This was part of my response to her:
Now that I'm a single mom, I always question myself...am I doing the right thing for my kids? Am I saying the right words to them? Am i living a life that will be a good example for them? I'm scared most of the time because I know that I'm really all they have. They look at my actions, they listen to my words... that's how they learn things. And most of the time, I feel that I haven't taught them enough or I haven't said enough and that's why I always pray that God will be my partner in rearing my children. I know that as long as I lead them to God, they'll be ok.
I read an article in the Lifestyle Section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer today about Helicopter Mothers. (You can read the whole article here). The author wrote about how her mom was constantly hovering over her, doing things for her, being too over protective all of her life (these are things that sometimes...ok, most of the time I'm guilty of). And towards the end of her essay, she pointed out something that struck me:
"That was the recurring theme of our life: she did not want to let go."
I realized that I don't want that to be the legacy that I will leave my children with -- My mom did not want to let go. I want that when my children think of me, they will say "She taught me how to go to Christ."
Here's the short but very meaningful prayer that they shared during the dedication:
God, teach me lessons for living
so I can stay the course.
Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—my whole life one long, obedient response. (Psalm 119:33-34 MSG).
That's the legacy I want to live and leave: My whole life one long, obedient response.
God, teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course. Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—my whole life one long, obedient response. (Psalm 119:33-34 MSG).
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