Exemplifying Values

I've been thinking about values after a talk with my parents last weekend. My dad pointed out a lot of things to me and my brother...some words of wisdom, some truths both painful and sweet, and he shared some of his dreams. I couldn't help but be thankful to God for giving me a father like my dad. He's far from being perfect, but he's my Papa and he has helped mold me become the person I am today. My dad may not be the most active father in the world, but he taught me values by being a great example to me and my brothers.

My dad, Tali & I

I was further reminded of this last Sunday when I read an article in the Philippine Daily Inquirer about "What to bequeath our children" by Minyong Ordonez. I was struck by what he said towards the end.

"Are we passing on our Filipino values to our children by persistently verbalizing them? (It needs repetition.) By exemplifying them in the way we live? (Seeing is believing.)"

(Read the whole article here.)

It reminded me of my parents. Again, they are not the perfect parents but in their own ways, they exemplified the values they taught us. Mr. Minyong Ordonez was right when he said that we cannot give what we do not have. If we are not hardworking, how can we teach our kids to be hardworking? If we are not disciplined, how can we expect to have disciplined children? If we do not treat our helpers well, how can we expect our children to be courteous to their yayas or to their drivers? How can we expect our children to keep their word if we don't keep our promises to them?

As if to really drive home the idea of looking at my values, while waiting for my parents to get home for our family meeting, I watched the movie The Help. I couldn't help but get emotional as the story unfolded.

I found myself tearing almost every scene, but I was sobbing when it came to the part when Skeeter (played by Emma Stone) confronted her mother about her nanny. Apparently, her mother just dismissed Skeeter's nanny for no apparent reason. When she asked her mom for the real story behind it, the mom explained that she did not have a choice. The daughter of Constantine, her African-American nanny, humiliated the mom in front of her friends and she was forced to kick out both Constantine and her daughter. (Background of the story: the setting is 1960s when racism was rampant). When Skeeter found out about it, she went ahead and published her story about how African-American maids were maltreated. She went against her mother and her friends and did the most courageous thing. She had all of the stories of the maids she talked to published into a book. In the end, the mother of Skeeter applauded her and told her that sometimes the good values of families skip a generation. She thanked Skeeter for bringing the courage back to their family.

I really don't want to be a generation that missed what's really valuable.

I remembered the importance of exemplifying values again after watching that. The mother may have forgotten her values and succumbed to the pressure from her racist friends, but it didn't stop Skeeter from showing courage and fighting for what's right. I don't know what the background of her family was but I think that her parents and her grandparents exemplified courage and that's where Skeeter learned it.

A nice example is the Fort Bonifacio War Tunnel.

Last Friday, I read about the plans of  BCDA (Bases Conversion & Development Authority) to rehabilitate the war tunnel that once served the Filipino soldiers, our Filipino Heroes, during the war. People walk above this historical structure unmindful of its significance to our freedom as a country. We are also like that in a way. We are unmindful of the values that our parents have demonstrated to us. We take them for granted not knowing that these values are the ones responsible for our own freedom or the luxuries that we enjoy now.

Our own heroes, our parents, helped shaped what we are now. Just like the war tunnel, they have been there all our lives. Sometimes we just pass them by. We credit other people or ourselves for the successes we achieve, but really it's the foundation of values that they built in us that contributed greatly to our existence.

The point is, we need to exemplify our values, and to do that, we need to truly KNOW our values. We need to appreciate the people who helped form our values and we need to reinforce what we've been given.