Learning to Learn Again

One of the most amazing things about being a mother is watching my children grow up. When I say grow up, I don't only mean taller or bigger or stronger, I also mean smarter, more intelligent, and, with constant encouragement and discipline, more mature and purposeful. Sometimes, when I look at their kid pictures, I'm so surprised at how fast they've grown. And when having conversations with them, I realize how fast they absorb things and how they're now processing ideas. My eldest, Lucas, who loves to read and is highly intelligent, always comes up to me with new words and ideas that I have to admit confuses me sometimes. Andres, my second, has a totally different set of gifts, picks things up fast, from cooking and baking to sports. Of course, my Natalia, who has stretched so much the past few months, always imagining, always laughing, asking questions, and thinking of things we can do together.

What a blessing it is to be a mom!

Chaos!

Finally!

Watching my children grow, I realized that I have to grow myself. I cannot say, "I'm the adult here. I know what to do." Frankly, many times, I don't know what to do. I have to learn. In fact, I have to learn to learn again. And I don't mean learn a new hobby, or learn a new exercise routine, or a new reciple. I mean learn how to grow as a person. Learn like I used to in school, absorbing lessons, absorbing experiences, and using them to grow. I need to go back to being curious and open without losing the lessons already learned.

Most of all, I need to be a student of my relationships if I want them to grow. I love God, but I know there's so much about Him that I don't know. For some reason, I've found Him more now than ever with less material things and more pressure. These days, I feel like I can't do anything right, which I know is a lie, but the little criticisms of people get to me. I'm learning not to listen too much to the opinions of man but to pray. Maybe that's really His way of showing me that He is my protector and provider. Maybe it's His way of teaching me trust. I need to keep learning that and growing in faith.

I also need to learn from and about my kids. Sure I do know more than them and I know I'm here to lead them, but I also know that God can speak to me through them. I also know that there is wisdom, creativity, and insight behind their bright eyes. I need to learn their music and talk to them about it. I need to learn the shows they watch (when they do watch). I need to learn about their books, their subjects, their lessons. I need to learn more about their friends, their dreams, and their hopes. I need to learn how to teach them to trust in God, and to apply faith in their different situations.

I also need to learn to grow as a friend. I shouldn't get too familiar with friends and think they'll always be there and will never change. People's circumstances are always changing and it affects us all differently. We need to be willing to reach out and care.

There's so much I need to learn, and just thinking about it can get overwhelming. But not knowing isn't the end, in fact it's the start, if we are willing to learn to learn again.